{"id":1220,"date":"2016-05-11T15:30:31","date_gmt":"2016-05-11T12:30:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/antipatic.ro\/?p=1220"},"modified":"2016-05-11T15:30:31","modified_gmt":"2016-05-11T12:30:31","slug":"limbistii","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/2016\/05\/11\/limbistii\/","title":{"rendered":"Limbi\u0219tii"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>A murit un fotbalist pe terenul de fotbal \u0219i doi militari \u00een Afganistan. Ca de fiecare dat\u0103 \u00een situa\u021bii de genul \u0103sta, foarte nasol pentru familiile lor.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Acum o s\u0103 urmeze anchete, reportaje, analize, proteste, emisiuni, articole \u0219i toat\u0103 pleiada de \u00eentampl\u0103ri, majoritatea inutile, care au loc dup\u0103 evenimente tragice.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Ceea ce nu se va \u00eentampla cu siguran\u021ba (\u0219i de aceea \u00eencerc s\u0103 o fac eu) este ca cineva s\u0103 adreseze ni\u0219te clarific\u0103ri c\u0103tre dou\u0103 categorii de persoane, respectiv:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ol>\n<li><strong>Pseudo-morali\u0219tilor, pseudo-p\u0103s\u0103torilor: nu sunt situa\u021bii comparabile<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Nu v\u0103 mai agita\u021bi c\u0103 de ce este mediatizat cazul fotbalistului mai mult dec\u00e2t cazul militarilor omor\u00e2\u021bi \u00een Afganistan \u0219i c\u0103 de ce lumea este mai indignat\u0103 de ce a p\u0103\u021bit fotbalistul.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Motivul pentru care se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 asta este simplu \u0219i nu \u021bine de moral\u0103, \u021bine de o minim\u0103 activitate neuronal\u0103: \u00eentr-unul dintre cele doua cazuri, moartea nu era o op\u021biune de luat \u00een calcul \u00een mod normal.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Mai precis, fotbalistul era pe un teren de fotbal, se juca cu b\u0103ie\u021bii cu o minge, \u00eentr-o zi aproape de weekend, \u00eentr-o \u021bar\u0103 lipsit\u0103 de conflicte armate, unde \u00een cele mai multe situa\u021bii, ca \u0219i \u00een cea de fa\u021b\u0103, doar ignoran\u021ba ucide. Asta trebuie adresat\u0103 c\u00e2t mai public \u0219i mai virulent.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Pe de alt\u0103 parte, ceilalti doi erau solda\u021bi. O meserie \u00een care predispozi\u021bia spre chestii nasoale este oarecum implicit\u0103. \u00cen plus, erau \u00eentr-o \u021bar\u0103 aflat\u0103 \u00eentr-un continuu conflict armat, iar treaba lor era s\u0103 \u00eei \u00eenve\u021be pe unii cum s\u0103 &#8230; \u00eei omoare pe al\u021bii.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Cumva \u00een acest context, nu este chiar ceva de neimaginat c\u0103 oamenii \u0103ia ar fi putut p\u0103\u021bi ceva, oric\u00e2t de dureros \u0219i tragic este pentru familiile lor care sufer\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 vin\u0103 \u00een acest moment.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ol start=\"2\">\n<li><strong>Oamenilor din fotbal: l\u0103sa\u021bi-mi limba (organul cu care articulez cuvinte) \u00een pace<br \/>\n<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Nu mai fi\u021bi urechi\u0219ti c\u0103 ajunge\u021bi limbi\u0219ti.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Dragi arbitri, antrenori, juc\u0103tori, paramedici, copii de minge \u0219i \u00een general to\u021bi implica\u021bii \u00een acest minunat fenomen inutil dar distractiv, hai s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021ba\u021bi odat\u0103 c\u0103 ceea ce a\u021bi auzit voi de la unii la fel de preg\u0103ti\u021bi ca \u0219i voi nu este adev\u0103rat: <strong>nu po\u021bi s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi \u00eenghi\u021bi limba<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Nici dac\u0103 vrei.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>M\u0103 rog, e ceva acolo cu obstruc\u021bia c\u0103ilor respiratorii \u00een anumite condi\u021bii, dar este deja prea complicat \u0219i prea t\u00e2rziu s\u0103 \u00een\u021belege\u021bi dac\u0103 deja crede\u021bi c\u0103 o po\u021bi \u00eenghi\u021bi, a\u0219a c\u0103 nu v\u0103 bate\u021bi capul, re\u021bine\u021bi simplu: <strong>nu po\u021bi s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi \u00eenghi\u021bi limba.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Inghi\u021bitul propriei limbi se poate \u00eentampla doar dac\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi dore\u0219ti foarte tare asta, dar necesit\u0103 instrumentar. Po\u021bi de exemplu s\u0103 \u021bi-o tai \u0219i s\u0103 \u00eencerci s\u0103 o \u00eenghi\u021bi dac\u0103 mai e\u0219ti \u00een stare.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Sau po\u021bi s\u0103 \u00eenghi\u021bi limb\u0103 cu m\u0103sline, dar e bine s\u0103 mesteci \u00eenainte, c\u0103 are o textur\u0103 gumoas\u0103 \u0219i este posibil s\u0103 te \u00eeneci. Caz \u00een care cel mai probabil o s\u0103 mori prin deces, pentru c\u0103 e\u0219ti \u00eenconjurat de oameni la fel de inteligen\u021bi ca tine, care cred c\u0103 te ajut\u0103 dac\u0103 te bat pe spate \u0219i mai cred c\u0103 Heimlich este o marc\u0103 de ciocolat\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Iat\u0103 mai jos c\u00e2teva informa\u021bii care ar putea s\u0103 v\u0103 ajute \u00een via\u021ba, dac\u0103 sunte\u021bi \u00een categoria celor care cred ca \u00ee\u021bi po\u021bi \u00eenghi\u021bi limba:<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>nu poti s\u0103 \u00ee\u021bi lingi cotul &#8211; po\u021bi s\u0103 \u00eel lingi pe al meu dac\u0103 ai neap\u0103rat\u0103 nevoie, contra cost, dar mai degrab\u0103 \u021bi-a\u0219 pune la dispozi\u021bie alte p\u0103r\u021bi anatomice<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>dac\u0103 te masturbezi, nu orbe\u0219ti &#8211; dec\u00e2t daca folosesti lubrifiant \u0219i mi\u0219c\u0103ri prea ample, c\u0103 poate te entuziasmezi prea tare, \u00ee\u021bi scap\u0103 m\u00e2na \u0219i \u00ee\u021bi \u00eenfigi degetele \u00een ochi<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>nu folosim doar 10% din capacitatea creierului \u2013 \u00een general oamenii \u00eel folosesc cam spre 100%, dar hei, nu v\u0103 cunosc personal, nu a\u0219 b\u0103ga m\u00e2na \u00een foc pentru voi&#8230;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u0218tiu c\u0103 nici unul dintre oamenii din fotbal, de la filosofii Dinu \u0219i Becali p\u00e2n\u0103 la \u0103la care tunde iarba \u00eenainte de meci, nu sunt chiar reprezentan\u021bii elitei intelectualilor din Rom\u00e2nia, dar m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc c\u0103 ni\u0219te no\u021biuni elementare de anatomie ar trebui s\u0103 aib\u0103 ca s\u0103 nu mai perpetueze mitul \u0103sta al \u00eenghi\u021birii limbii. Nu de alta, dar \u00een timpul \u00een care \u00eencerci s\u0103 \u00eei sco\u021bi limba din gur\u0103 (situa\u021bie \u00een care poate r\u0103m\u00e2i \u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 vreo dou\u0103 degete dac\u0103 omul are vreun reflex de i se \u00eencle\u0219teaz\u0103 f\u0103lcile) ai putea de fapt s\u0103 \u00eel resuscitezi.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>V\u0103 rog eu, dac\u0103 vreodat\u0103 m\u0103 vede\u021bi pr\u0103bu\u0219indu-m\u0103 incon\u0219tient, nu c\u0103uta\u021bi s\u0103 \u00eemi scoate\u021bi limba din gur\u0103. L\u0103sa\u021bi-o acolo, o \u021bin bine ancorat\u0103, nu pleac\u0103 nic\u0103ieri. Mai bine verifica\u021bi dac\u0103 respir \u0219i \u00eemi bate inima. Dac\u0103 nu, hai cu masajul cardiac \u0219i respira\u021bia artificial\u0103, poate mai am o \u0219ans\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Mai exist\u0103 varianta \u00een care \u00een loc s\u0103 \u00eencerci s\u0103 \u00eemi sco\u021bi limba din gur\u0103, po\u021bi \u00eencerca s\u0103 \u00eemi bagi o limb\u0103 \u00een gur\u0103, situa\u021bie \u00een care ar putea s\u0103 \u00eenceap\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eemi bat\u0103 inima din nou, de bucurie sau de nervi, depinde cine e\u0219ti \u0219i cum ar\u0103\u021bi&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; A murit un fotbalist pe terenul de fotbal \u0219i doi militari \u00een Afganistan. Ca de fiecare dat\u0103 \u00een situa\u021bii de genul \u0103sta, foarte nasol pentru familiile lor. &nbsp; Acum<\/p>\n<div class=\"read-more\"><a class=\"theme-btn\" href=\"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/2016\/05\/11\/limbistii\/\" >READ MORE<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1222,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1220","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-degeaba"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1220","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1220"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1220\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1248,"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1220\/revisions\/1248"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1222"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1220"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1220"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1220"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}