{"id":1164,"date":"2016-04-19T15:36:38","date_gmt":"2016-04-19T12:36:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/antipatic.ro\/?p=1164"},"modified":"2016-04-20T09:12:46","modified_gmt":"2016-04-20T06:12:46","slug":"lui-tigru-ii-fac-ochii-ca-lui-ursuletul-panda","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/2016\/04\/19\/lui-tigru-ii-fac-ochii-ca-lui-ursuletul-panda\/","title":{"rendered":"Lui Tigru \u00eei fac ochii ca lui ursule\u021bul Panda"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>World Wide Fund for Nature (WWF) m\u0103 tot \u00eendeamn\u0103 s\u0103 salvez tigrii, au o campanie destul de vizibil\u0103 mai ales pe re\u021belele de socializare.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Iar eu nu vreau s\u0103 salvez tigrii. <\/strong>\u0218i nici pinguinii, babuinii, lemurienii sau orice alt\u0103 specie nu este \u00een stare s\u0103 se adapteze la convie\u021buirea cu noi.<strong><br \/>\n<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Nu vreau nu pentru c\u0103 a\u0219 fi un om r\u0103u (probabil c\u0103 sunt, dar nu de asta nu vreau) ci pentru c\u0103 nu \u00eemi place c\u00e2nd sunt luat de prost \u0219i mi se serve\u0219te, \u00een loc de argumente corecte, c\u0103cat cu polonicul. Pentru c\u0103 \u00eemi place s\u0103 fiu prost \u00een intimitate, nu \u00een mod public, \u0219i \u00een general nu \u00eemi place s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nc nimic cu polonicul, prefer o lingur\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u00cen ultimii 100 de ani, popula\u021bia de tigri a scazut cu 97%. Adic\u0103telea a cam disp\u0103rut, c\u0103 <strong>orice scade cu 97%, e ca \u0219i cum nu ar mai fi<\/strong>. Verifica\u021bi asta data viitoare c\u00e2nd ave\u021bi o erec\u021bie. Sc\u0103de\u021bi-o cu 97% \u0219i vede\u021bi ce zice partenera, dac\u0103 mai poate fi considerat\u0103 o erec\u021bie.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Ei bine, dup\u0103 ce ne dau aceasta informa\u021bie statistic\u0103, vine polonicul cu c\u0103cat, citez:<\/p>\n<p>\u201cTigrul se afl\u0103 \u00een varful lan\u021bului trofic, \u00een toate ecosistemele \u00een care tr\u0103ie\u0219te. Datorit\u0103 lui, popula\u021biile de c\u0103prioar\u0103, porc s\u0103lbatic \u0219i antilop\u0103 sunt p\u0103strate sub control. Dac\u0103 tigrii nu ar exista, num\u0103rul acestora ar exploda, ceea ce ar provoca o devastare a vegeta\u021biei \u0219i dispari\u021bia insectelor \u0219i a animalelor mici care depind de mediul vegetal. Practic, dispari\u021bia tigrului ar provoca un efect \u00een lan\u021b asupra celorlalte specii.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Hai s\u0103-\u021bi moar\u0103 singurul neuron disponibil, m\u0103-ta-i proast\u0103 c\u0103 te-a f\u0103cut 100%.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>A\u0219 estima, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 am nici cea mai mic\u0103 preg\u0103tire de specialitate, c\u0103 dac\u0103 \u00een 100 de ani au disp\u0103rut 97% dintre tigri \u0219i p\u00e2n\u0103 acum popula\u021biile de c\u0103prioar\u0103, porc s\u0103lbatic \u0219i antilop\u0103 nu au explodat, sunt \u0219anse mari s\u0103 nici nu explodeze vreodat\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/antipatic.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Amazed-tiger.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-1168\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1168\" src=\"http:\/\/antipatic.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Amazed-tiger.jpg\" alt=\"Amazed tiger\" width=\"368\" height=\"387\" srcset=\"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Amazed-tiger.jpg 368w, https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Amazed-tiger-285x300.jpg 285w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 368px) 100vw, 368px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Folosind exemplul aceleia\u0219i erec\u021bii, <strong>daca a intrat \u00een tine 97% din organul erect \u0219i \u00eenca nu sim\u021bi nimic, restul de 3% nu o s\u0103 fac\u0103 diferen\u021ba.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 veneau cu argumente gen \u201cam vrea \u0219i noi s\u0103 p\u0103rem c\u0103 facem ceva pe lumea asta, ca s\u0103 avem \u0219i noi un pic de respect de sine \u0219i ni\u0219te bani ca s\u0103 ne luam de m\u00e2ncare, s\u0103 ne imbr\u0103c\u0103m \u0219i s\u0103 cordim ni\u0219te pu\u0219toaice u\u0219or de impresionat c\u0103 ce mi\u0219to o ardem noi ecologist\u201d, s\u0103 mor de nu m\u0103 g\u0103ndeam o clipa s\u0103 m\u0103 implic, c\u0103 a\u0219a sunt eu, generos f\u0103r\u0103 motiv. Dar a\u0219a, hai pa! S\u0103 dispar\u0103 tigrul, nasol de el. A mai disp\u0103rut \u0219i \u0103la marsupial \u0219i nu s-a \u00eent\u00e2mplat nimic grav&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 asta, mai este o problem\u0103 pentru care nu pot s\u0103 sus\u021bin ac\u021biunile acestei organiza\u021bii: WWF are ca logo un urs Panda. Care a ajuns cumva s\u0103 fie simbolul speciilor pe cale de dispari\u021bie pentru care trebuie s\u0103 facem ceva s\u0103 nu se evapore ca salariul la mijlocul lunii. Iar p\u0103rerea mea este c\u0103 <strong>ursul Panda este cea mai inutil\u0103 specie de pe pam\u00e2ntul \u0103sta, dup\u0103 Gigi Becali, \u0219i ar trebui s\u0103 \u00eel l\u0103s\u0103m s\u0103 dispar\u0103<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/antipatic.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/panda.jpg\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-1169\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1169\" src=\"http:\/\/antipatic.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/panda.jpg\" alt=\"panda\" width=\"512\" height=\"384\" srcset=\"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/panda.jpg 512w, https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/panda-300x225.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 512px) 100vw, 512px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Ursul Panda este unul dintre cele mai bune argumente pe care evolu\u021bioni\u0219tii le pot avea \u00een fa\u021ba crea\u021bioni\u0219tilor. Ursul Panda este un e\u0219ec pe care nu \u00eel poti \u00eencadra \u00eentr-o crea\u021bie perfect\u0103. Unul estetic, dar totu\u0219i un e\u0219ec.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Nu sunt insensibil, nu cred c\u0103 ursul Panda ar trebui s\u0103 dispar\u0103 \u00een sensul c\u0103 hai s\u0103 \u00eei cr\u0103p\u0103m pe \u0103ia care mai exist\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 vedem ce gust au, de\u0219i nu e o idee foarte rea. Ci mai degrab\u0103 hai s\u0103 \u00eei l\u0103s\u0103m s\u0103 se descurce singuri, s\u0103 vedem ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Pentru c\u0103 <strong>ursul Panda este cel mai prost exemplu pe care \u00eel d\u0103m copiilor. Le spunem practic c\u0103 dac\u0103 ar\u0103\u021bi c\u00e2t de c\u00e2t amuzant, este ok s\u0103 nu faci nimic toat\u0103 ziua dec\u00e2t s\u0103 m\u0103n\u00e2nci, \u00een timp ce al\u021bii ar trebui s\u0103 aib\u0103 grij\u0103 de tine.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Ursul Panda are dou\u0103 mari defecte incompatibile cu supravie\u021buirea: este vegan \u0219i nu are chef s\u0103 fac\u0103 sex. Ecologi\u0219tii cu inimi s\u00e2nger\u00e2nde \u00eencearc\u0103 \u00eentr-una s\u0103 \u00eel conving\u0103 s\u0103 fac\u0103 sex, iar el nimic. St\u0103 ca idiotul \u00een cu\u0219ca, se uit\u0103 la ursoaica lui \u0219i m\u0103n\u00e2nc\u0103 bambus.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Dac\u0103 ne \u00eenchizi pe oricare dintre noi cu un urs Panda \u00eentr-o cu\u0219ca, f\u0103r\u0103 posibilitatea de a mai ie\u0219i, \u00een maxim o luna \u00een cu\u0219ca aia o s\u0103 se fac\u0103 sex, consensual sau nu, indiferent c\u0103 ursul este mascul sau femel\u0103. <strong>Garantez c\u0103 \u00een maxim 7 luni de c\u00e2nd \u00eenchizi orice b\u0103rbat \u00een aceea\u0219i cu\u0219ca cu un urs Panda, cel din urma o s\u0103 nasc\u0103 ni\u0219te hominizi albi cu pete negre.<\/strong> Care or s\u0103 vrea s\u0103 fac\u0103 sex.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/antipatic.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Panda-sex.gif\" rel=\"attachment wp-att-1170\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-1170\" src=\"http:\/\/antipatic.ro\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/04\/Panda-sex.gif\" alt=\"Panda sex\" width=\"800\" height=\"640\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp; World Wide Fund for Nature (WWF) m\u0103 tot \u00eendeamn\u0103 s\u0103 salvez tigrii, au o campanie destul de vizibil\u0103 mai ales pe re\u021belele de socializare. &nbsp; Iar eu nu vreau<\/p>\n<div class=\"read-more\"><a class=\"theme-btn\" href=\"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/2016\/04\/19\/lui-tigru-ii-fac-ochii-ca-lui-ursuletul-panda\/\" >READ MORE<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1167,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1164","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-nu-gandi-ca-doare"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1164","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1164"}],"version-history":[{"count":22,"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1164\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1192,"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1164\/revisions\/1192"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1167"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1164"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1164"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/antipatic.ro\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1164"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}